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How to "Act As If" When You Don't Already Have What You Want

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What Does It Mean to Act as If?

Acting as if is one of the simplest as well as one of the most effective Law of Attraction techniques because it helps you line up your internal desires with you external way of being.

It is seemingly simple - just act like the person you want to be - but people will often get tripped up on a couple of parts. This is because we humans will get too caught up in trying to control the "how" of our desires. Read below to find out more!

Step 1 - Decide What You Want

In order to act as if you have and are being as you want, you have to decide what it actually is that you even want in the first place! And this can be trickier than you might think.

This is because oftentimes when you think you want something, you are actually going after something deeper. You end up focusing on the "how" instead of getting to the feeling of what it is that you want.

You may think that you want to be a successful fashion designer, for instance, because you believe that once you are a successful designer, then you get to feel self-confident and creative. But you can feel self-confident and creative without having to go through all of the steps to be a fashion designer first. You can feel self-confident and creative right now!

On the other hand, you may feel like you do not know what you want at all. In this case, again, start with the general feeling of what you want to feel. Do you want to feel safe? Secure? Joyous? Inspired?

So when deciding what you want, think about what the feeling is that you want and let go of the "how" it will come to you. Getting clear how you want to feel will allow you to easily manifest the feeling and then whatever external outcome lines up with that will follow - maybe it's a fashion designer, maybe it is something else like an illustrator or interior designer.

The Universe knows what you want and knows how to bring to you the feeling you desire, often in better ways than you can even imagine. Now this does not mean that you have to give up on all of your dreams. If you really want to be a fashion designer, you can become a fashion designer. But if you tell the Universe, "this or something better", you will find that you can find that fulfillment you desire in ways that you may not expect!

So when you think about what you want, start with the feeling of what you want, and then go from there.

Step 2 - Align Your Thoughts

Now that you have decided what you want, the feeling that you truly desire, it is time to align your thoughts with that desire. What would a person who feels happy or secure think when they first wake up? While they're eating breakfast? How would a confident and successful person communicate with their children and their spouse?

The best way to align your thoughts with how you desire to be is to write down what you want your outlook on life to be and write about an average day in the dream life you desire. Take out a notebook and describe your morning. What are you thinking about when you wake up and shower? When you get ready for work? What do you think about your work? Do you love your work and think to yourself how much you appreciate being in the flow?

Continue writing out the rest of your day, with lunch, afternoon, dinner, and evening, and fill out as much detail as you can. Remember to keep the thoughts and how you desire to see your day aligned with the feelings that you want.

If the feeling is based only on others and how others will perceive you, or trying to act and think in a way that you think is "impressive" but isn't honest with what you want, then the Universe will not be able to bring to you what you really desire because you're not being honest with yourself about what your really desire. Make this about loving and appreciating yourself, not having others love and appreciate you so that you can then give yourself permission to love and appreciate yourself. Start with the self!

Step 3 - Take Inspired Action

We humans love action, so taking inspired action is important. After reflecting upon how you want to think and feel to be the person you want to be, reflect upon the action steps you take as your ideal person. What do you specifically do when you wake up? Do you immediately brush your teeth? Do you journal or meditate? Do you work out, make yourself a big green smoothie? What's your morning routine?

Again, grab your notebook and write out your entire day as your ideal person, this time with a focus on the your daily actions. What do you eat for lunch? What kind of exercise do you do? For how long? Do you play with your kids in the evening, or watch TV with your wife? When do you go to bed? Flesh it out in as much detail as possible.

This may seem like it clashes with the idea of letting go of the how, but the important thing to understand is that by giving clarity around the actions you want to take, you are fine-tuning your vibration to the feeling that you want. So the end result may not manifest exactly in the same way that you envision, but by taking action you are showing the Universe that you are serious about having what you want come to you and then the Universe will provide you with what you envision - or something even better.

So the next step to take is to take inspired action. Look at all of the action steps you have written down, and choose 1 to 3 of them to start incorporating into you life. Start with the ones that are easiest to do first - by starting with the simplest ones, you set yourself up for success and your initial successes will inspire you to take more action.

To give a more personal example, one of the first steps I took recently to fine-tune my life is that I started a bedtime routine. At 8:30pm, I take my makeup off and brush my teeth. Just taking that simple action alone inspired me to start winding down for the night and go to bed earlier, which then helps me wake up more refreshed in the morning. So start with simple changes and go from there.

Step 3.5 - Work Through Any Limiting Beliefs

I put in this step 3.5, because inevitably when you try to align your feelings, resistance will come up. If you had no resistance, you would already be acting as if and would not be reading this!

Feelings will come up of, "it's impossible for me to become who I want because _xyz_" or "I can't do this." This is really normal. The best thing to do is to do as much as you currently can, and use other manifestation techniques such as pivoting and embracing your limiting beliefs to let go of what's not working for you.

Isn't Acting As If Just Pretending?

Yes - and no. Acting as if is pretending in the sense that you have not manifested into your reality what you want yet, but it is not pretending because you are changing your beliefs and emotions about what you want so that you can have what you want.

You truly believe that you are manifesting your desires, and not "pretending" in the sense that it is fun to imagine having a million dollars while honestly believing that you never get to have the money. You are not pretending when you know that what you want is coming to you!

How Do You Believe You Already Have Something?

This is a solid question. How do you believe that you already have something when you literally do not have it in the physical yet?

There are many techniques to get into the right mindset around manifesting, but my favorite technique for this case is to imagine that you are at the beginning part of the "hero's journey."

The hero's journey is the archetype of the trials and tribulations a hero goes through in a story. And in the beginning, the hero does not have everything yet. They have a lot to learn. They may feel like they are "failing", or that they do not know what to do. They may even feel like they have hit rock bottom.

But in the end, the hero learns what they need to do. They get better. And by the end of the story, they are triumphant. They have truly become the Hero.

Imagine that you are the hero in your own story, and that you are at the start of your movie or book. What step to you take next to learn what you need to do to become successful? What do you practice? Do you sign up for a dance class or go out speed-dating?

A kind of humorous take on this can be found here, but it demonstrates the point well. When you frame your life in terms of a heroic story, it makes it easier to understand that you get to have you happy ending. You get to win. You are simply on the journey to getting there, and with practice and the right mindset, you will soon get what you desire in life.


I hope you enjoyed learning how to act as if! Let me know about any insights or questions you have in the comment section below.

image that reads, "How to "Act As If" When You Don't Already Have What You Want"


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