Is Selfishness a "Bad" Thing?
"You're being selfish" is not a phrase that people generally like to hear. We don't want to put other people down or make them feel uncomfortable.
So when first getting into the LOA, it can be uncomfortable to hear phrases like "honor your own needs first" and "you cannot pour from an empty cup."
People who misunderstand the Law of Attraction will sometimes say that LOA doctrine is bad because it preaches selfishness above all things.
And to an extent, there is a level of choosing to honor your needs first and foremost. It often comes with learning how to set boundaries with others, that can be painful for those who are afraid of confrontation.
For 99.9% of people, when they visualize manifesting their goals in an ideal scenario...
it involves EVERYONE being happy! Nowhere in their visualization is there the idea of putting other people down or making them miserable for personal gain - because that is simply not an ideal scenario. It doesn't feel good to purposefully make other people unhappy.
"Win-Lose" Paradigm Is a "Lose-Lose" Paradigm
The reason that this fear of selfishness comes up is that we have a long-held global limiting belief that honoring what you want automatically means that you will make others unhappy.
And although it is pervasive, this limiting belief isn't true. It comes from a scarcity mindset, known as the "win-lose" paradigm. In order for me to win, you have to lose, or vice versa.
But it doesn't have to be that way. What if you could get what you want AND others get to have what they want to?
We are coming into an age where the win-lose paradigm (which is really a lose-lose paradigm because, again, hurting others doesn't really feel that good) is turning into the win-win paradigm.
In the win-win paradigm, we are able to find solutions that makes everyone happy. Being yourself and honoring your own needs UPLIFTS others and inspires them to be themselves and live their truth.
I do not want to undersell, however, that this is a HUGE energetic shift, and with it there is a lot of fear and disbelief that this may not happen that we all have to shift though. But it is happening, and it will get easier and easier overtime as our global vibration rises.
So sit with it for a second and imagine: what if everyone gets to be happy? What if honoring your own wants means that we ALL get what we want? Pretty exciting, no?
So Why Does Visualizing Punching My Boss in the Face Feel So Good?
This win-win paradigm sounds nice and all, you may say, but if that is true then why does anger feel so good sometimes? Why does having anger releases in which I kick the crap out of others and hurt them feel good?
So remember, shifting from win-lose to win-win happens on both a global AND a personal level. When you are lower on the vibrational scale, winning over others is a representation of shifting your powerlessness into a more empowering vibration.
When people have power over you in your mind, an effective way to release their power over you is to visualize you "winning" and being more powerful than them. Once you do that and let those feelings out (which you will know if you have done successfully because it feels REALLY good in the moment and then afterwards the person or situation won't have so much "charge" for you anymore), then you'll find yourself more receptive to manifesting the win-win situation.
In short, you have to clear out the scarcity belief - only one of us can win - before you are able to access the vibration of win-win that truly feels good. Super rewarding!
Like what you've read so far? Want some energetic assistance in embracing the win-win paradigm? Sign up for a 1:1 private coaching session with me to release your limiting beliefs for good and manifest the happiness and joy you deserve.